My husband has a job that requires looong hours. I know many families struggle with one spouse working long hours, a spouse that frequently travels, or even a spouse deployed overseas in the military - which leaves the parent at home living a life of virtual single parenthood. I'd like to write about coping emotionally at these times, when you miss your spouse, you are juggling extra demands around the house, and patience with the kids is running thin. How do you adapt during these times? What patterns do you find yourself falling into?
Personally, I find things usually fall into a 3-day pattern. For about 3 days, I can keep things running smoothly, keep a smile on my face and generally roll with the punches. After that, things start to wear on me a bit and I feel more run down. My temper starts to break. I don't smile as much, and just don't feel as sunny. I have found it a tremendous help to keep as busy as possible. I used to really hesitate to call on my friends who have both parents present, as I assumed that I would be infringing on their family time. I have found, however, that almost every time I ask someone if they'd like to get together, they are happy to have a break in their family routine. Spending time with another family is great for me as I get to socialize and am not as isolated, and it's great for my daughter who also gets to play with another child.
Also, I am a very independent person who used to hesitate to call on family for babysitting if I'd like to get out on my own for some adult time. Truth be told, I still struggle with this, or (GASP!) hiring a sitter so I can get out on my own. I have been really pushing myself, though, to recruit these helpers so I can get some time to myself. A happy, mentally refreshed mom is a better mom, right?
I am eager to learn from you as well. What do you do to stay sane during these difficult times?
